Chasing my own will
Last year when I was a senior in college, I was filled with anxiety over what to do after graduation. I applied for FOCUS and got rejected right off the bat. I tried to apply for grad school and realized that it wasn’t for me when I was almost done with my applications. I applying for jobs with Catholic organizations and even went on a Saint Paul’s Outreach chapter visit before I ultimately said “yes” to FMS. It was there all along, and I didn’t think to discern it seriously for a long time.
In hindsight, I feel like I was chasing my own will instead of trying to follow God’s will for my life. I definitely was just trying to do something impressive after graduation, whatever that may be. It took me a long time to place my trust in God and put my next chapter into His hands.
Time for my next adventure
Now, the time that I knew was coming has almost arrived. The end of my year of service with FMS is just around the corner, and it’s about time for me to find my next adventure. If I would have stayed the same anxious young woman, I would be applying for jobs constantly and spending my spare time worrying about what I’m going to do in a few months. Strangely, this isn’t the case for me at the moment.
Maybe it’s because I’m feeling secure in knowing that no matter what, I’m going to marry Nathan and we’ll get to live together in Maryland. With that being said, getting married and moving are two huge transitions, and I haven’t had much mental capacity to think about where I’ll be working.
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God will provide
When I do look for jobs and apply, I do so knowing that my future career is truly in God’s hands. Maybe I’m not worried about my job search because I have other things to focus on at the moment, but I also believe that I’m not worried about it because I know that God will provide. I don’t mean to sound passive and like I’m not trying, but I say this knowing that God is guiding me throughout my job search. As I get leads from friends and search online for jobs, I can feel Him prompting me to give an opportunity a shot or to wait for something else. When I write, I feel like the Holy Spirit works through me to say what needs to be said. Because of this, I can tell that He’s writing through me when I spruce up my resume and craft my cover letters.
As cliché as Jeremiah 29:11 has become, I find myself remembering that God has plans to prosper me. I can trust that God has a plan for me. Whatever God has planned for me, I can trust that it’s good and life-giving. As I end my year of service with FMS and seek my next opportunity, I’m excited to see what God has in store for me and how I’ll make a living in the near future.
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