I have found the one who my soul loves.Song of Songs 3:4
A Deep Desire of my Heart
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to get married. When I was little, I would play dress-up as a bride. As I grew up, I mused over the romantic ways that my future husband would sweep me off my feet. In college, I saw married couples who prayed and went to Mass together with their babies, and I could clearly picture myself in their shoes.
There were times when I discerned being a religious sister or a consecrated virgin, but through it all, the deepest desire of my heart was to get married and be a holy wife. I heard that God puts desires like these in our hearts for a reason, so I was convicted that my vocation was marriage. Every time I prayed about it and asked God to guide me to my vocation, the one that kept popping up in my heart and gave me the most peace was marriage.
Praying and Preparing
In college, I prayed and prayed to meet my future husband. Every day, I prayed that God would make me holy enough for him and the kind of wife that would lead him closer to God. I prayed that my future husband was preparing to meet me, praying for me, and becoming a godly gentleman. I prayed that we would love each other the way that God created us to be loved. Of course, there were a handful of guys that I had a crushes on. While some of them were my friends, we never became anything more than that. Once when I was growing impatient, I turned to Scripture for comfort. I wanted God to send me my future husband already, but a verse from Song of Songs stood out to me.
Do not awaken or stir up love until it is ready.Song of Songs 3:5
God spoke to me through this verse at the perfect moment. I had realized that a guy who I liked didn’t like me back. I felt disheartened, but I also believed that God had someone else in mind for me. Song of Songs 3:5 reminded me that God will unfold the love story that He wrote for me when I’m ready and when the time is right. This verse helped me to trust in Him more completely. For a time, I was comfortable in my season of singleness. I spent it growing closer to God and becoming the woman who He wanted me to be.
After a few months, I met someone.
The One Who Broke my Heart
Before God gave me the one who my soul loves, He gave me the one who broke my heart. I dated a boy who came into and out of my life in a whirlwind. We met, we dated, and he left without warning. In hindsight, I know that it’s good that he broke my heart and left me. In many ways, he was not the one who God set aside for me. Although he hurt me deeply, he still taught me so much. My relationship with him showed me what true love doesn’t look like. While I hurt for a few months after that relationship ended, I knew that God allowed my heart to break for a reason. When I was at my lowest, God gave me the biggest blessing of my life.
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The One Who my Soul Loves
Nathan, my gift from God, came into my life and showed me what true, holy love looks like. He was a sweet friend of mine before he began to pursue me. He was patient and gentle with me, knowing that I was still fragile from my breakup. Within a month, we were good friends. Nathan and I spent time together and got to know each other for a while, and then on January 25, 2019 he asked me to be his girlfriend.
Throughout our time dating, Nathan showed me what a Godly gentleman looks like. He shows me his love through kind words and thoughtful gestures. He always reminds me of his support and love. He does little things for me, like open car doors, give me flowers, and leave me notes, to remind me that he loves me. He showers me with hugs and kisses to show me that he’s close. He prays with me and for me often. In my relationship with Nathan, I learned how to love someone the way that they need to be loved. We’re certainly not the perfect couple, but we turn to God through it all. In everything we do, we try to give glory to God as we run to Heaven together.
On January 23, 2021, Nathan asked me to marry him, and I joyfully said yes. Now, we’re one step closer to beginning our vocation of marriage. God truly did guide us to each other. We still have a lot of planning, preparing, and praying to do before we say “I do,” but we’re at peace knowing that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. Every day, I fall more in love with my gift from God. It’s an adventure to learn his heart, and it’s a blessing to love him and be loved by him. It took a lot of patience, growth, and trust in God, but I finally found the one who my soul loves.
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