Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die, and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
John 11:25-26
Do you believe this?
My first reaction is yes, absolutely! I find that I trust Jesus more when life is awesome. When the semester is just starting and everything is new, I feel God being good to me. When my prayer life is going well, I feel God’s graces flowing into me. When I’m getting what I want, having fun with my loved ones, and things are generally going my way, I trust in God a lot more. It’s so much easier to say the Jesus Camp chant “God is good all the time!” when things are going good.
It’s easy to trust Jesus when our lives are going well, but it’s harder when we’re struggling.
Before he raises Lazarus from the dead, Jesus doesn’t just tell Mary that He’s the resurrection and the life, He asks her if she believes it. Of course, she does believe it, but as she mourns her brother, I’m sure it’s harder to believe it. I know that God is good, and I know that He loves me and has good plans for me, but it’s hard to believe when I’m in the middle of a tough time. When I struggled with a breakup before Nathan and I started dating, I fell into a really dark place. I found it so hard to believe that God had good plans for me, but by His grace, I stayed faithful to Him. In the midst of this pandemic and the hardships that come with it, it can be hard to see God’s goodness. It can be hard to feel his presence and know that things will get better, but it’s during these moments that it’s most important to trust in Him.
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Jesus asks us to trust in Him the most when it’s the hardest. When He seems so far away that we can’t feel Him near, and when we’re in a place so dark that we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, we have to keep turning to Him. These are the times when Saints are made. This is where we find beauty in the breaking. These are the times that reveal how strong our faith is and how much we really believe in Him.
We believe this. Now how will we live for Him?
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Now a man was ill, Lazarus from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. Mary was the one who had anointed the Lord with perfumed oil and dried his feet with her hair; it was her brother Lazarus who was ill. So the sisters sent word to him saying, “Master, the one you love is ill.” When Jesus heard this he said, “This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that he was ill, he remained for two days in the place where he was. Then after this he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.” The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just trying to stone you, and you want to go back there?” Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in a day? If one walks during the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if one walks at night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.” He said this, and then told them, “Our friend Lazarus is asleep, but I am going to awaken him.” So the disciples said to him, “Master, if he is asleep, he will be saved.” But Jesus was talking about his death, while they thought that he meant ordinary sleep. So then Jesus said to them clearly, “Lazarus has died. And I am glad for you that I was not there, that you may believe. Let us go to him.” So Thomas, called Didymus, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go to die with him.” When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, only about two miles away. And many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them about their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him; but Mary sat at home. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise.” Martha said to him, “I know he will rise, in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.” When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary secretly, saying, “The teacher is here and is asking for you.” As soon as she heard this, she rose quickly and went to him. For Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still where Martha had met him. So when the Jews who were with her in the house comforting her saw Mary get up quickly and go out, they followed her, presuming that she was going to the tomb to weep there. When Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come with her weeping, he became perturbed and deeply troubled, and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Sir, come and see.” And Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him.” But some of them said, “Could not the one who opened the eyes of the blind man have done something so that this man would not have died?” So Jesus, perturbed again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay across it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the dead man’s sister, said to him, “Lord, by now there will be a stench; he has been dead for four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. And Jesus raised his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you for hearing me. I know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this, that they may believe that you sent me.” And when he had said this, He cried out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth. So Jesus said to them, “Untie him and let him go.” Now many of the Jews who had come to Mary and seen what he had done began to believe in him.
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This miracle of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead reminds us that Jesus gives us eternal life. In this Sunday’s Gospel, Jesus says “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” This is actually one of my favorite verses, and I catch myself thinking it when I’m feeling down. It helps me to remember that Christ is near, and with Him, there’s no need to be anxious or afraid about anything. We hear this verse often, and although we believe it, we don’t always let it sink in. We think of death as something inevitable and gloomy even though there’s no need to dread it. We tend to fear death even though Jesus already conquered the grave. It’s okay to mourn or feel upset. Mary, Martha, and even Jesus mourned the death of Lazarus, but they knew that this wasn’t the end. In the midst of our own hardships, we can be sad or frustrated or anxious, but our trust in God should be stronger than these emotions. Lazarus was dead for only four days before Jesus raised him. We might have to suffer longer before He heals us, but we know that He will and our suffering will be redemptive in Him. This Gospel foreshadows Jesus’ own Resurrection, which opened the gates of Heaven for all who love Him. As we reflect on this Sunday’s Gospel, let’s rend our hearts to trust in Him more and believe that while we might suffer in this life, we’ll rejoice with Him forever in our next life.
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“Like a city breached, without walls, is one who lacks self-control.”
Proverbs 25:28
Woooooo. Zing. Ya got me Lord.
I was running the other day at the gym, listening to my crappy pop dance party workout music (as one does), and the song I was listening to had the line “lose control” in it. As I jogged in place on the treadmill, I thought to myself, “What a funny thing. The world is all about ‘loosing control’ as if it’s a good thing. As if everyone is too uptight and needs to let go of literally everything and give in to everything they want. This is not what Jesus tells us.”
Control is a funny thing. We all want it. Heck, I struggle daily to let go of a desire to control things. I think it can be a very subtle thing, control. I think sometimes we don’t even realize that we are doing it. Sometimes it looks like using a dating app to fill a hole in our hearts that needs to be filled by Jesus. Sometimes it’s counting calories because we put our worth in our weight. Sometimes it’s in saying no to an experience we are afraid of, because of how it might challenge or embarrass us if we fail. Oh control, you sneaky sneak.
Now to be clear, I am not saying diets or dating are bad. I am just pointing out that sometimes we have motives that are not necessarily healthy or truly in our best interests.
It’s interesting to consider the way the world tells us to lose control, versus the way Jesus does. Both say “don’t be afraid to let go”, but the culture really means “give in to anything you want,” while the Lord means “let me lead.” Do you see the difference there? Those are two very different things. This verse from Proverbs, “Like a city breached, without walls, is one who lacks self-control,” while intense, has a point. If we just let down all of our walls like the songs on the radio urge us to do, we become a city without walls, letting in anything and everything. St. Clare of Assisi famously said “We become what we love.” How true that is! Have you ever noticed that? When we love the things of the world – clothes, money, notoriety – we get sucked into that lifestyle. When we love God, we serve others, as he did. When we love ourselves, we serve ourselves. When we love sugar, we slowly fill our bodies with unhealthy foods, and we ourselves become unhealthy. It’s like this with all things. If we are a city without walls, we let in everything, and we are ransacked and left with nothing but emptiness. We are like a vacuum cleaner that needs to be cleaned out. If the vacuum is too full of stuff, it eventually cannot do anything. It becomes nothing. No longer even a vacuum.
So what does a lack of control look like to God, if in the book of Proverbs we are being urged to control?
Great question gang.
The Lord simply wants you to let go of all the crap and the things that leave you feeling empty. Be filled with him! “…it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me…” (Gal 2:20) Clare begs us to do this! To become who we love will make us FULL of LIFE because God himself IS life!
How do I fill up on the life of God? Sacraments! Scripture! Prayer! All the holy things. And to have fun and love well. I am then FREE of the things that actually control me! If I lose control the way the culture tells me to, I actually become a slave to sin. I am owned by the choices I make that will likely have some pretty terrible consequences. But when I choose to live a life with the Lord, I am most free. This is because Jesus wants me to be the person he made me to be. And that person? That person is me. That person isn’t who the world wants me to be, or who I think I should be. That person is just me. Me. Me as myself. And in reality, I still have free will. I still have control in the end. I can give that control to God, or I can take it into my own hands, and he will let me.
We have two options: we can model Our Lady – “be it done to me according to your word” (Lk 1:38) – giving our freedom totally to God so that he can lead us to a life of LIFE, FREEDOM, and JOY in him. Or we can choose ourselves, filling our hearts like a vacuum that can’t stop taking things in, until we are so stuffed we don’t even recognize who we are anymore. We can be “Like a city breached, without walls…” (Prov 25:28) or we “may have life, and have it abundantly” (Jn 10:10) with the Lord! It’s totally up to you, and no one can choose but you.
Ashley Ackerman is first and foremost a daughter of God. After that she is the daughter of two amazing parents, big sister to the two best siblings in the world, and Godmother of four sweet kiddos. Ashley teaches high school theology, and she is constantly amazed by how much love God pours into her heart to pour out for her students; each day is full of wonder and awe at what God does for his children. Ashley also loves reading, snow, Winnie the Pooh, Harry Potter, coffee, and breakfast.
Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father, who is in Heaven.
Matthew 6:1
How’s your Lent going now that it’s about halfway over? If it’s not going as well as you hoped, a good way to get back on track is remembering the three pillars of Lent. It isn’t enough to start Lent strong. To see the fruits of this penitential season, we have to finish Lent strong too. If we really want to deepen our faith and make the most out of Lent, we can’t give up half way through. During this season of spiritual renewal, we have to stay strong and keep choosing Christ.
Prayer
This is the foundation of our relationship with God. If we want to be Christ’s disciples, we have to have a profound prayer life. Ideally, our prayer life would be rooted in the Sacraments. Going to Confession and Mass to receive the Eucharist gives us the grace to grow closer to God and fall deeper in love with him. Unfortunately, because of the pandemic, many dioceses have cancelled public Masses. A chapel or oratory might be open to the public near you. These are perfect places for private prayer where you could stop in for a few minutes or for a holy hour. If these spaces aren’t available, you can make a home altar or designate a space in our home for prayer. Decide when you’ll pray, what you’ll pray, and where you’re going to pray, and stick to these logistics to establish a routine.
Following the Three Pillars of Lent
Fasting
You have to fast from something that hurts at least a little to give up, and you shouldn’t fast from anything obscure or from something you don’t care about. Fasts like these aren’t very meaningful. When deciding what to fast from, think of what distracts you from your relationship with God. Fasting helps us to practice detachment, which involves forsaking materials things and turning to God. It allows us to rely less on things of this world so that we can focus on Heaven and prepare for our eternal life.
Almsgiving
You might think that donating money is the only form of almsgiving, but this Pillar of Lent involves offering our time, talent, and treasure. Almsgiving really helps us grow in the virtue of humility as we put aside our own interests to help those around us. I might not always want to give alms, but its necessary for the wellbeing of others and for my own salvation. After practicing this Pillar of Lent enough, you’ll see how fruitful and rewarding it can be. Sooner or later, you’ll happily donate money that you would have spent on coffee to your favorite charity. You’ll take time to call a friend or pick up a neighbor’s groceries. The gift of ourselves is the most meaningful one that we can offer, especially when we do little things with great love.
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Lent isn’t Lent without these three pillars. In Matthew 6, which contains the Gospel reading from Ash Wednesday, Jesus gives His disciples tips for praying fasting, and almsgiving. Notice that Jesus doesn’t say if, but when. He says “when you pray,” “when you fast,” and “when you give alms.” This important word choice implies that Jesus expects us to pray, fast, and give alms, especially during Lent. Because we’re His disciples as well, we have to follow His commands.
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Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no sin; but now you are saying, ‘We see,’ so your sin remains.”
John 9:41
Although Jesus physically heals the blind, He uses blindness versus sight as an allegory in this Sunday’s Gospel. To those who are “blind” Jesus will give sight. This blindness allows us to rely on the Lord and not on ourselves. Think of Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
The man born blind in this Sunday’s Gospel longed for Jesus. He depended on Him because he couldn’t do anything on his own. Because of his great faith, Jesus granted him his sight. However, the Pharisees rejected Jesus. They dismissed Him and failed to recognize His holiness, let alone that He’s the son of God. Because of this, they remained blind to who Jesus really is.
The blindness and sight that we see in this Gospel represent dependency and false self-sufficiency. The Pharisees, who lean on their own understanding, blind themselves to Jesus, but the man born blind encountered Jesus as he relied on Him.
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It’s Laetare Sunday, which means that Lent is half over now. This is a good time to reassess how our Lent is going and how we’ve been growing. In what areas of our life are we still holding onto our sight? Where do we need to become blind? In other words, where do we find ourselves relying on ourselves instead of on Christ? Are we truly depending on Him and trusting His will?
For me, I’ve been trying to see what the future holds. Especially with all of the changes and uncertainty that this pandemic has caused, I’ve been frustrated that the rest of the semester isn’t going as I planned. I haven’t let myself trust God’s plan. Instead, I’ve been holding onto my sight in vain, trying to lean on my own understanding.
Let’s allow ourselves to be blind so that Christ can be our sight, like the hymn “Be Thou My Vision.”
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As Jesus passed by he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him. We have to do the works of the one who sent me while it is day. Night is coming when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” When he had said this, he spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva, and smeared the clay on his eyes, and said to him, “Go wash in the Pool of Siloam” —which means Sent—. So he went and washed, and came back able to see. His neighbors and those who had seen him earlier as a beggar said, “Isn’t this the one who used to sit and beg?” Some said, “It is,” but others said, “No, he just looks like him.” He said, “I am.” So they said to him, “How were your eyes opened?” He replied, “The man called Jesus made clay and anointed my eyes and told me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash.’ So I went there and washed and was able to see.” And they said to him, “Where is he?” He said, “I don’t know.” They brought the one who was once blind to the Pharisees. Now Jesus had made clay and opened his eyes on a sabbath. So then the Pharisees also asked him how he was able to see. He said to them, “He put clay on my eyes, and I washed, and now I can see.” So some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, because he does not keep the sabbath.” But others said, “How can a sinful man do such signs?” And there was a division among them. So they said to the blind man again, “What do you have to say about him, since he opened your eyes?” He said, “He is a prophet.” Now the Jews did not believe that he had been blind and gained his sight until they summoned the parents of the one who had gained his sight. They asked them, “Is this your son, who you say was born blind? How does he now see?” His parents answered and said, “We know that this is our son and that he was born blind. We do not know how he sees now, nor do we know who opened his eyes. Ask him, he is of age; he can speak for himself.” His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews, for the Jews had already agreed that if anyone acknowledged him as the Christ, he would be expelled from the synagogue. For this reason his parents said, “He is of age; question him.” So a second time they called the man who had been blind and said to him, “Give God the praise! We know that this man is a sinner.” He replied, “If he is a sinner, I do not know. One thing I do know is that I was blind and now I see.” So they said to him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?” He answered them, “I told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples, too?” They ridiculed him and said, “You are that man’s disciple; we are disciples of Moses! We know that God spoke to Moses, but we do not know where this one is from.” The man answered and said to them, “This is what is so amazing, that you do not know where he is from, yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners, but if one is devout and does his will, he listens to him. It is unheard of that anyone ever opened the eyes of a person born blind. If this man were not from God, he would not be able to do anything.” They answered and said to him, “You were born totally in sin, and are you trying to teach us?” Then they threw him out. When Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, he found him and said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” He answered and said, “Who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” Jesus said to him, “You have seen him, the one speaking with you is he.” He said, “I do believe, Lord,” and he worshiped him. Then Jesus said, “I came into this world for judgment, so that those who do not see might see, and those who do see might become blind.” Some of the Pharisees who were with him heard this and said to him, “Surely we are not also blind, are we?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no sin; but now you are saying, ‘We see,’ so your sin remains.
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The man in this Sunday’s Gospel wasn’t blind because of sin. His sin, his parents’ sin, or anyone’s sin was not the cause of his blindness, as many believed. According to Jesus, the man was born blind so that God could work in him. He was blind so that Jesus could give him his sight and so that others could witness this miracle and come to know who Jesus is. This Gospel reminds me that there’s a reason behind our suffering and our hardships. We might not understand why we suffer, but the Lord still works in our suffering. If we allow Him to enter into it, He not only redeems us, but He also helps others encounter Him. When we tell those whom we encounter about how Jesus helps us through our difficult times, we help them to encounter Jesus through us. This is exactly what happened with the man born blind. Jesus didn’t just give this man his sight; He gave him a mission as well. Jesus didn’t just heal him; He sent him. The miraculous healing that this man experienced inspired him to evangelize. When Jesus meets us in our suffering, He sends us too. Whether we’ve been healed or we’re still struggling, we’re called to encounter our brothers and sisters in Christ and help them to know our Lord more. When Jesus gives us our sight, we have to help others to see Him too.
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“Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit;”
Matthew 1:20
Completing the Holy Family Throughout his life, St. Joseph was hard working, yet humble, and he always made protecting Jesus and Mary his first priority. In the Bible, he never spoke a word. We might not think of him much outside of the Advent and Christmas seasons. Because of this, St. Joseph is sometimes overlooked and even forgotten. Regardless, the Holy Family wouldn’t be the same without its protector.
St. Joseph: The Protector of the Holy Family
Courageous Humility St. Joseph was the only member of the Holy Family who wasn’t perfect, but he was still radically holy. In his humility, St. Joseph was afraid to be the father of Jesus. He didn’t think he was capable, but when Gabriel appeared to him in a dream and told him not to be afraid, he courageously took on the role of protector of the Holy Family.
With traveling to Bethlehem, escaping to Egypt, losing Jesus in the Temple, and facing criticism, the Holy Family endured various hardships, but St. Joseph absorbed them all. St. Joseph protected and helped Mary and Jesus through all of the struggled and shame that they faced, and he did so with grace. He loved Mary and Jesus with his whole heart.
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The Most Chaste Spouse St. Joseph’s faith was so strong and he devoted himself to living a life of chastity. Because of this, the Chaste Heart of St. Joseph is often venerated along with the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Like the loving father that St. Joseph is, he desires to help us as Jesus’ brothers and sisters grow closer to him. Because he lived in chastity so beautifully, he’s often invoked to grow in this virtue, and he loves to help us with it.
Recently, I prayed this Novena to St. Joseph for an increase in the virtue of chastity. It’s such a beautiful novena and I greatly enjoyed praying it. In this blog post from Bearing Good Fruit by Isabella, she lists several beautiful titles of St. Joseph and a lovely litany to him. I love to contemplate on his many titles and invoke his intercession through them. If you want to grow in chastity or if you want to pray for a current or future spouse or significant other, St. Joseph will gladly help you with your intentions like the loving and generous foster father that he is.
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Christ be within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ inquired, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
St. Patrick
Returning to Evangelize Here’s a fun fact about the patron Saint of Ireland: St. Patrick wasn’t Irish!
Most likely from Great Britain, Patrick was kidnapped by Irish pirates when he was a teenager. In Ireland, which was a pagan country at the time, Patrick was enslaved as a shepherd for six years. While he endured cold and hunger, he turned to God and prayed unceasingly. According to his autobiography, St. Patrick prayed one hundred prayers every day, which helped him to forget his suffering.
Eventually, Patrick escaped from Ireland. Upon returning home, he studied to become a priest, and he was ordained a bishop when he was 43. Patrick had an unshakable desire to bring the Gospel to his brothers and sisters in Christ in Ireland. He didn’t move on and forget all about Ireland after his liberation. Instead, he acted on God’s call to return and evangelize.
As Patrick responded to this call to holiness and action, he converted countless people, ordained priests, and established dioceses in Ireland. He’s known for using the image of a shamrock to explain the mystery of the holy trinity. The three leaves of a shamrock represent the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, but the stem that they share reminds us that they’re one.
Christ Beside Me
Necessary Hardships The hardships that we face are meant to strengthen us. During our suffering and struggles, we should look outside of ourselves and seek God as St. Patrick did. As we grow closer to Him, we receive his grace and learn the reason behind our suffering. When we lean on the Lord, He doesn’t excuse us from our suffering, but He makes it redemptive for us and for others. If St. Patrick had never gone to Ireland and encountered its people, would he have went there to share the Gospel? St. Patrick’s suffering was necessary not only for his own sanctification, but also for the salvation of an entire nation.
Right now, nations throughout the world are suffering due to the Coronavirus, but like St. Patrick, we can turn towards God instead of focusing on what we can’t do now. We can pray for those affected by the virus and do little acts of service for our neighbors. These circumstances are dark, but they’ll make us holy and they can even make us Saints if we respond to God’s call to action.
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Christ is Always With Us The Breastplate is a prayer by St. Patrick that I quoted at the beginning of this post. It helps us to deepen our trust in God. It reminds us that Christ always surrounds us. We should remember His constant presence especially in difficult moments. I plan to pray The Breastplate for the rest of the month to remind myself to depend on Christ. It can be difficult to feel Christ’s presence during our moments of suffering, but in reality, Christ is always beside me and you.
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Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.
Psalm 62:8
In the Thick of It I first heard about the Coronavirus in class on the first day of the spring semester. I thought it would be just another illness that would become another current event hot topic. I assumed that it would be just another Swine Flu, Ebola, or Zika Virus, and in many ways it is. Coronavirus, or at least the media’s hype about it, will come and go. Unfortunately, right now we’re in the thick of it and it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We know that this too shall pass, but for now we’re caught up in the uncertainty and fear.
An Opportunity to Surrender
Missing Out Going into my last semester of college, I never imagined that a pandemic would affect my life so much–without even getting infected by it! In the middle of my spring break, I received an email from my university’s president saying we won’t be returning to campus (or normalcy) any time soon. Like many universities, Slippery Rock has postponed all classes until March 30th. The faculty will have to decide how classes will continue by then, and they’ll most likely be online. I’m grateful that this semester will be condensed, not extended, but I still feel like I’m losing valuable time from my last few months of college.
Along with a few other senior dance majors, I was accepted to present my capstone research paper at NCUR, a national research conference for undergraduate students. I was looking forward to going to Montana State University and sharing my capstone research project on Martha Graham’s aesthetic shift. As a passionate aspiring dance historian, I poured my heart into researching since I began my bibliography in July. The same day that I got the email informing me that SRU’s classes will be postponed, I received an email from NCUR with the subject “NCUR 2020 Cancelled.” I was devastated. I was looking forward to NCUR as the last “big thing” that I’d do before I graduated. I’ll never be able to get this once in a lifetime opportunity back, and I’m so frustrated that it was taken away from me. I’m left with holding onto a sliver of hope that my other future plans won’t get cancelled.
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An Appropriate Word of the Year Just after midnight on New Year’s Eve, the word surrender entered my heart and refused to leave. I realize more clearly every day that surrender is my word of the year for a reason. I’ve been learning to surrender all that I am and all that I have to God. This has been my prayer since day one of 2020, and God has constantly been challenging me to keep that promise. He’s been pushing me to surrender more than I thought I could handle, and when I think I’ve surrendered enough, He shows me how much deeper I can go. I learned to forsake control, anxiety, and fear in exchange for trust in God’s plan and timing and the peace that only He can give.
Losing weeks of school and presenting at a national conference is just another call to surrender, to sacrifice, and to grow. I’ll be honest with you and say that this one hurts. It’s breaking me to lose classes, opportunities, and experiences, and I’m so frustrated and disappointed. This surrender is a big one, but I trust that it’s necessary.
Letting His Will Be Done I think it’s fitting that this is happening while I’m doing Fiat 90, the 90-day detachment challenge that calls college girls to live in the world and not of it. I can’t help but remember the meaning of that beautiful Latin word, fiat: “let it be done.” Mary gave her fiat and surrendered her will for God’s will, and although I’ll never surrender as perfectly as Mary did, I can strive. With Mary’s help, I’m doing my best to humbly surrender at this time. I surrender not to the Coronavirus, but to my Heavenly Father so that his will can be done. Needless to say, this is super hard, so please remember me in your prayers and know that you’ll be in mine.
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Jesus said to her, “Every one who drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
John 4:13-14
It’s the third Sunday of Lent, and you’re probably feeling parched. I don’t mean you’re dehydrated, but you might have started to feel Lent burnout. The newness of Lent has worn off by now. Maybe you’ve grown tired of fasting or you’re bored with the daily Rosary that you’ve picked up. Maybe you’re putting off donating a little extra money or you’re resenting an upcoming service opportunity. I’ve been missing sugar and shopping, so I cracked on Friday and had a milkshake and made a trip to JoAnn’s. Although my Lent is going well for the most part, I’ve been growing tired of sacrificing and I’ve been missing the things that I’m fasting from. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this though, and neither are you.
The way I see it, we’ve been in the desert for a while now, and we need some refreshment. We could turn to things like desserts, social media, or sleeping in, but the high that these things bring is brief. They’ll satisfy us for a little while, but then we’ll only find ourselves craving more and more. Before we know it, we’ll have wasted our time and energy chasing after fulfillment from food or sleep or entertainment and we’ll only feel drained. When we need refreshment, especially at this point in Lent, there’s no better thirst quencher than Jesus Christ.
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In this Sunday’s Gospel, a Samaritan woman encounters Jesus at a well. In His longest recorded conversation in the Bible, Jesus tells her about the living water that only He can give. He encourages her to depend on Him to gain eternal life. Leaving her old ways and even her water jug behind, she runs into town to tell everyone she can about Jesus and His living water. Because she trusted in Him, Jesus gained so many more disciples that day! The mantra of “repent and believe in the Gospel” persists past Ash Wednesday. Jesus won’t let us fall back into our old habits and sins that keep us away from Him. He’s still calling us to holiness and reminding us of His love and mercy. Only Jesus’ water of eternal life can truly satisfy us. Quench your thirst with Jesus Christ this week and let Him cleanse and refresh you.
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