Radiant with Joy

The Sacrificial Love of St. Maximilian Kolbe

Let us remember that love lives through sacrifice and is nourished by giving. Without sacrifice, there is no love.
St. Maximilian Kolbe

Love Requires Sacrifice
To love is the will the good of the other. Because of this, true love naturally requires sacrifice. When we love, we should be willing to set aside our own wants and needs, but our culture is selfish and needs to understand that without sacrifice, we can’t love others truly. Love is a choice, not a feeling, so when we love, we get uncomfortable and even suffer. I notice that my generation needs to understand this, so I recommend that we look to a 20th century priest and martyr, St. Maximilian Kolbe.

St. Maximilian Kolbe’s Life
Raymund Kolbe was born in Poland in 1894. When he was a child, he asked the Blessed Virgin Mary what would become of him. She responded by appearing to him, showing him a white crown and a red crown, and asking him if he would accept either of them. He understood that the white crown represented celibacy and the red crown represented martyrdom. Raymund told the Blessed Mother that he would accept them both.

When Kolbe joined the Conventual Franciscans, he was given the name Maximilian. He was passionately dedicated to the conversion of souls and shared the Gospel through various mediums. During his priesthood, he founded a publishing company which printed the magazine “Rycerz Niepokalanej,” or “King of the Immaculate.” He eventually founded a newspaper and a radio station as well, using the media of the time as a medium for evangelization.

Maximilian Kolbe had a deep devotion to our Blessed Mother. In particular, he loved the Immaculate Conception and often meditated on this Marian title. While I was preparing for my Marian Consecration, I read about how he established the Militia Immaculata, which inspires total consecration to Mary for the salvation of souls. His mission was to create an “army” of consecrated souls for Mary. Kolbe said “Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin too much. You can never love her more than Jesus did.”

Click here to read about my Marian Consecration journey!

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Laying Down His Life
In 1941, the German Gestapo arrested Maximilian Kolbe. After a few months in prison, he was transferred to Auschwitz. One night, three men escaped from the death camp. To retaliate, the Nazi guards randomly selected ten men to die of starvation. The tenth man that they selected, Franciszek Gajowniczek, burst into tears. He knew that he would never see his wife or children again. Maximilian Kolbe stepped forward and revealed that he was a Catholic priest. He had no wife or children, so he offered to take the place of the young man. The Nazis granted him this benevolent request, and they locked him and nine other men in a room to die. During his final days, Kolbe led the men in prayers and songs and helped them stay calm and joyful. He made their dark cell like Heaven on earth.

After two weeks, the guards returned to find that Maximilian Kolbe was the last man alive, so they gave him a lethal injection. According to his records, Kolbe died of a “weak heart,” but his heart was one of incredible strength. As a priest, his heart was transformed to love with the sacrificial love of Christ. He embodied John 15:13 by choosing to lay down his life for selflessly for another man. Because Kolbe took Franciszek Gajowniczek’s place, he survived Auschwitz. Gajowniczek returned home to his wife and children, and in 1982, he attended St. Maximilian Kolbe’s canonization.

How Do We Love?
Hearing and talking about St. Maximilian Kolbe’s sacrifice always makes me tear up, but more importantly, it makes me reflect on my own life and how I love.

Have you ever asked for something without really knowing what it is? Sometimes I tell God I want something and I don’t realize what I’m getting myself into. I think I first learned about sacrificial love from the FOCUS missionaries. I was immediately attracted to it, and I began to pray “Father, help me to love like Jesus. Help me to grow in sacrificial love.” Of course, God gave me opportunities to practice sacrificial love. For the past year, I found myself suffering physically and mentally. I’ll spare you the details, but through the ails that I experienced, I learned how to put aside my will and comfort for the good of someone else. I learned to use moments of inconvenience and suffering to pray for my loved ones, offering up my suffering and uniting it to Jesus. As strange as it sounds, now I’m able to embrace suffering because I view it as opportunities to intercede for others and grow in sacrificial love.

If you’re desiring to grow in sacrificial love, putting aside your needs or comfort for someone else is a good way to start. Little acts of kindness, like helping a friend study, buying a coffee for the person in line behind you, or visiting an elderly neighbor are great ways to give of yourself with love. Don’t ask “what can I get out” of a person. Ask “how can I give of myself” to this person. Who knows if we’ll be called to literally lay our lives down. We might not wear the crown of martyrdom, but we can emulate St. Maximilian Kolbe’s love by constantly and consistently offering ourselves to others for their good.

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Going Where God Leads Me

I am not afraid. I was born to do this.
St. Joan of Arc

An Unintentional Hiatus
You probably noticed that I haven’t been keeping up with my usual posting schedule. This is because I gave myself a break from blogging. I’ve been doing a lot of working, traveling, and socializing lately, so about two weeks ago, I was so physically and mentally exhausted that I couldn’t bring myself to work on Radiant with Joy. For one week, I couldn’t write or post any content. I couldn’t even tweet. Dropping the ball on this blog devastated me, but even though I didn’t want that break, I needed it.

Understandably, It was hard to get back into the swing of blogging, but I took baby steps to start again. When I started writing again, I immediately remembered how much I love to blog. I’m glad that I’m now well-rested and have a new sense of motivation. I have a lot of ideas for new posts, and I’m looking forward to documenting my year of service with FMS and continuing to share my faith journey.

Letting Fear Get Me Down
I think a big reason why I shut down for a week is my upcoming move to Washington DC. I’m very excited to move and start a new adventure there, but I’m also so nervous that I’m almost afraid to move. During my final months of college, I couldn’t wait to join Franciscan Mission Service’s DC Service Corps. Unfortunately, my excitement dwindled during the summer, and I felt my joy fading. Instead of anticipating my move, I resented it. I grew afraid of all of the things I looked forward to, like exploring a new city, living in community and helping to run a non-profit. To top it off, hearing about FMS’s protocol in response to the Coronavirus pandemic overwhelmed me and added to my fear of moving.

These fears and anxieties sparked something of a depression in me, and it took a long time for me to shake it. I let my fear of the unknown and my sadness to leave home get the better of me. I spent a lot of time laying around the house doing nothing productive. On one hand, I needed the rest, but on the other hand, I knew this was no way to spend my last weeks at home.

Unfortunately, my sadness didn’t just prevent me from blogging, but it also discouraged me from praying. In hindsight, I realize that not praying only made my sadness and fear worse. I wondered whether Washington DC and Franciscan Mission Service was really God’s will for my life. I began to question his plan, and I felt a more than a little confused and abandoned. Doing nothing to get out of this desolation, it only grew worse as time went on.

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He Wants Me in Washington DC
On Sunday, I went to Mass at Resurrection Parish for the last time before I move. That morning, I was an anxious wreck, knowing that this was the week I would leave everything I knew to start a new adventure in Washington DC. When my parents and I arrived at church, I put on my mask and my veil, genuflected, and knelt to pray. As I offered up my fears and sadness to God, I realized something. It was like a light bulb moment when the simplest statement entered my heart.

God wants me in Washington DC.

I remembered back in March when I got the offer from Franciscan Mission Service. I clearly felt God calling me there. When I accepted my position with FMS, I felt his peace and knew that this was his will. For a while, I couldn’t contain my excitement to go to Washington DC and serve with FMS. I told everyone who would listen about it, and I made a bucket list of things to do in DC during my year of service. As soon as I remembered that God wants me in Washington DC with FMS, I remembered my excitement, and I looked forward to going again.

Lately I’ve been reflecting on St. Joan of Arc’s quote, “I am not afraid. I was born to do this.” If God wants me in Washington DC, then I shouldn’t be afraid to move. By speaking so sweetly in my heart on Sunday, he helped me to let go of my anxieties. He helped me to step out of my desolation and rest in him. I still have some fears and hesitations, but at least now I can still go to DC completely trusting in God.

Please keep me in your prayers as well as the rest of Franciscan Mission Service’s DC Service Corps.

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This Sunday’s Gospel: August 9, 2020

Matthew 14:22-33

After he had fed the people, Jesus made the disciples get into a boat
and precede him to the other side,
while he dismissed the crowds.
After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.
When it was evening he was there alone.
Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore,
was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it.
During the fourth watch of the night,
he came toward them walking on the sea.
When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified.
“It is a ghost,” they said, and they cried out in fear.
At once Jesus spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.”
Peter said to him in reply,
“Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”
He said, “Come.”
Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.
But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;
and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter,
and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
After they got into the boat, the wind died down.
Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying,
“Truly, you are the Son of God.”

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I see a lot of myself in Peter lately. I’m asking Jesus to help me, to reveal himself and his plans to me, and to help me to do his will. When he calls me and I take my first baby steps toward him, something inside me doubts. I freak out and decide all of this was a bad idea. Once I start sinking, I call out to Jesus, using him as a life jacket when I know he should be more than that. I hear him telling me the same words he said to Peter, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” This Sunday’s Gospel was my reminder to trust in Jesus. This was my wake up call to have more faith in him and let him guide me. In the storms of our lives, we keep our eyes on him.

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Approaching Life as an Adventure with Christ

Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure.
St. Pope John Paul II

Blessed with Adventures
God has blessed me with so many things this summer, and it isn’t even over yet. Over these past few months, I did so much. The adventures I had were ones that I hadn’t necessarily planned, but they were better than I could have imagined. I learned a lot about myself and I grew closer to many of my loved ones. Most importantly, the Lord has been constantly revealing himself to me. He gave me the grace to encounter him in everything that I’ve done, making this summer not only an adventure, but an adventure with Christ.

Approaching Life as an Adventure with Christ

Learning to Love Water Sports
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in touch with my “athletic” side. I love nature and the great outdoors, but I’ve gotten comfortable with just sitting and observing them. This summer, I’ve been able to explore and adventure in ways that I’ve never done before and that I’m excited to do again. I learned that I love water sports like kayaking and paddle boarding, not only because I love being on water, but also because I got interested in them through my friends, and I made a lot of memories with them.

Allie, one of my best friends from college got married this summer, and I was overjoyed to be one of her bridesmaids. After her bridal shower in Pittsburgh, we had an unconventional bachelorette party, which was kayaking in North Park! Because I never kayaked before, I thought I was going to tip the kayak and fall in several times, but that never happened. It was so peaceful to drift along and listen to the water. It was a bit of a workout to row, but I was in a tandem kayak with a buddy to help me, and I took on the challenge of keeping up with the veteran kayakers in our bridal party. I loved talking and laughing with my old friends and the new friends that I made that day. Being surrounded by a huge lake, lush trees, and a breathtaking sky was perfect.

Almost a month later, four of my friends from high school and I traveled to Fayetteville, West Virginia for a much-needed girls weekend. We wanted to round up as many of us as possible for a trip before we moved, started working, or started our last year of school. We spent half of one day paddle boarding, which was something else that I tried for the first time this summer. I had no confidence that I would be good at paddle boarding until Mikayla told me that she thought I’d be the best at it. Claiming that I’d have the best balance because I’m a dancer, I said “bet” and made sure I was the first one to stand up on my board! I expected to fall in, and I did at least three times, but I wasn’t afraid. Even falling off of the paddle board was fun, and I was able to laugh at myself about it. At first we hung around the shallow, calmer waters, but soon we were ready to explore the New River Gorge. We loved going out in the choppier water where boats made waves that we rode on. As the five of us ventured farther and farther out, it was awesome to see everyone paddle out of their comfort zone.

Finding God in nature is something I’ve been learning to love lately. Especially when I went paddle boarding in West Virginia, I found myself looking around at the trees, cliffs, bushes, and rocks as I drifted in the New River. I couldn’t help but whisper, “Wow, thank you, Lord,” several times that day. It truly was the day the Lord has made, and there was so much of him all around us. I saw him in the beauty of his creation, and in the joy of my friends. He reminded me that he was with me through all of my adventures, constantly guiding me and protecting me.

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My Upcoming Adventure
God has given me so many adventures this summer, but there’s still more to come. In ten days from today, I’m moving to Washington DC to start my year of service with Franciscan Mission Service. I can’t believe that I’m finally starting my journey in our nation’s capital and embarking on my adventure with FMS. I’m so excited for this new chapter, but I’m also nervous to live farther from home in a new city with new people and doing new work. I think the Lord gave me a summer of adventures to show me that it’s good, and even holy, to take risks and try new things. He helped me to love life more, to take chances, and to get out of my comfort zone with excitement.

The word adventure comes from the Latin word adventurus, meaning “about to happen.” What lies before me with FMS in Washington DC will be an adventure without a doubt. I look forward at what’s about to happen and feel exhilarated, scared, and at peace. In the adventures and journeys that God blessed me with these past few months, he prepared me for the big adventure ahead of me. Moreover, he assured me that he’d be with me every step of the way. No matter what this next year holds, it’ll be the adventure of a lifetime because I’m embarking on it with my Heavenly Father.

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This Sunday’s Gospel: July 26, 2020

Matthew 13:44-52

Jesus said to his disciples:
“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,
which a person finds and hides again,
and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant
searching for fine pearls.
When he finds a pearl of great price,
he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea,
which collects fish of every kind.
When it is full they haul it ashore
and sit down to put what is good into buckets.
What is bad they throw away.
Thus it will be at the end of the age.
The angels will go out and separate the wicked from the righteous
and throw them into the fiery furnace,
where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.

“Do you understand all these things?”
They answered, “Yes.”
And he replied,
“Then every scribe who has been instructed in the kingdom of heaven
is like the head of a household
who brings from his storeroom both the new and the old.”

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In this Sunday’s Gospel, Jesus tells us more about the Kingdom of Heaven. From the parables he tells us, we understand its value. We learn that Heaven is worth everything we have and more. Like the person who finds the treasure buried in the field, we should be willing to give up everything for it. I think it’s important to note that the person didn’t just take the treasure for himself when he found it. He sold what he had to buy the field. This shows that Heaven is something that we earn and worthily work to gain. It’s more beautiful and plentiful than we can imagine. In these parables, Jesus teaches us that nothing on this earth can give us the joy that only Heaven can give. This should be relieving, because we don’t have to stress and hold on to things. Instead of worrying about our possessions and what we can get out of this earth, we can fix our eyes on Heaven. We can prepare for eternal life and wait in hope for the Kingdom.

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Following Jesus to the Foot of the Cross: St. Mary Magdalene’s Conversion and Devotion

Mary Magdalene went and said to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord;” and she told them that he had said these things to her.
John 20:18

My Patron and Namesake
St. Mary Magdalene resonates with me in so many ways. When I was really little, I learned during a Palm Sunday Mass that I was named after her. From that point on, I considered her my patron Saint and I’ve always felt connected to her. As I learned more and more about her, I found that we have a lot in common.

As I grew up, I felt myself emulating her and I’ve seen her intercede for me. It’s hard to be a Catholic young adult because following Jesus isn’t the “cool” thing to do. I did my best to live my faith always, despite the chastisement that I endured. St. Mary Magdalene is the patron Saint of people ridiculed for their piety, and I felt her embracing me and praying for me during those times. Looking back on how I’ve grown in my faith, I can see how St. Mary Magdalene guided me closer to Christ. Through the mistakes and sins that separated me from the Lord, she inspired me to run back to him with my whole heart. She taught me how to stay by his side and follow him wherever he led me.

Her Past Doesn’t Define Her
I feel like we all have bad memories that stick with us. Sometimes you have a poor experience with something, or someone makes a negative comment that you can’t forget about. As pesky as these memories are, they form us. We learn to grow, to be better, to prove people wrong.

When I was in 6th grade, my teacher randomly assigned a Saint to everyone in my class to read about and write a paper about. I asked a friend which Saint she was writing about, and when she said it was St. Mary Magdalene, I excitedly shared that I was named after her and I loved her. My friend replied in a sour tone of voice, “She had seven demons taken out of her.” That comment killed my joy and left me feeling defeated. I knew that my patron Saint was more than that, but at the time, I couldn’t say a word.

While St. Mary Magdalene probably wasn’t a prostitute (contrary to popular belief,) it’s true that seven demons tormented her. In Luke 8:2, Jesus removed them, and Mary Magdalene surrendered her life to Christ. We know that where sin abounds, grace abounds more, so this exorcism allowed for Mary Magdalene’s radical conversion. One of the beautiful, relatable facets of St. Mary Magdalene is that her past doesn’t define her. She can’t be reduced to the woman who had seven demons removed from her. That’s only one part of her, and she became so much more than that. Of course that’s part of her story and it’s something that she can’t change, but she surrendered it to Jesus and let him work in it. She allowed him to change her life, and she lived the rest of it as his disciple.

Following Christ to the Cross and the Resurrection
Her story doesn’t end with her exorcism. As a disciple, Mary Magdalene evangelized to the women that she encountered. When she told them what Jesus had done for her and how he changed her life, they became followers as well. Mary Magdalene followed Jesus so closely during his earthly ministry, sometimes closer than the Twelve Apostles. When almost all of them fled during the Passion, Mary Magdalene never left him. Along with the Blessed Mother and John, she stayed beneath Jesus on his Cross until he breathed his last.

Because Mary Magdalene was so devoted to Jesus, he allowed her to be the first to find the empty tomb. Her fear and sadness at the thought of her missing Lord quickly turned into joy when he revealed himself to her. When the risen Jesus gently called her name, she knew it was him. St. Mary Magdalene is sometimes called “the Apostle to the Apostles,” because she told them the good news of the Resurrection.

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From Brokenness to Holiness
If I could go back in time to 6th grade, I wouldn’t let myself feel defeated when all my friend could say about St. Mary Magdalene was her demons. I’d ask her to consider how Jesus worked in her life and led her to him. I’d say, “It was so good that Jesus encountered her in her brokenness and called her to holiness.” I’d tell her that although she was far from the Lord in her past, she had changed so much when Jesus touched her heart. She became so close to Jesus that she wouldn’t leave his side during his Passion. She stayed at the foot of his Cross when he suffered and died, and was the first to learn of the Resurrection and to rejoice in the risen Lord.

Jesus longs to enter into our brokenness as he did for St. Mary Magdalene. In our imperfections and our humanity, we’re never too lost for him. When we allow Jesus to work in and through us like St. Mary Magdalene did, we’ll experience a great change of heart in ourselves and in those around us.

My friend Isabella from Bearing Good Fruit compares the empty tomb to St. Mary Magdalene’s past. She beautifully writes, “Dwelling on these losses prevents us from seeing how God has already redeemed them – he’s already at work designing a better relationship for you, he’s already forgiven your past mistakes, and he’s already set a place for your loved ones in Heaven.” While she weeps for the Lord and dwells in her brokenness, Jesus comes to her, comforts her, and helps her to let go.

When Jesus touches our lives, it’s impossible to keep it to ourselves. St. Mary Magdalene evangelized by telling other women about Jesus, but also by living radically for him. She stayed so close to Jesus that she could touch the wood of the Cross that Jesus saved her by, and embraced the Resurrected Christ who conquered death forever. On her feast day today, ask her to guide you to follow Jesus as closely as she did.

St. Mary Magdalene, pray for us.

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This Sunday’s Gospel: July 19, 2020

Matthew 13:24-43

Jesus proposed another parable to the crowds, saying:
“The kingdom of heaven may be likened
to a man who sowed good seed in his field.
While everyone was asleep his enemy came
and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off.
When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well.
The slaves of the householder came to him and said,
‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field?
Where have the weeds come from?’
He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’
His slaves said to him,
‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’
He replied, ‘No, if you pull up the weeds
you might uproot the wheat along with them.
Let them grow together until harvest;
then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters,
“First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles for burning;
but gather the wheat into my barn.”’”

He proposed another parable to them.
“The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed
that a person took and sowed in a field.
It is the smallest of all the seeds,
yet when full-grown it is the largest of plants.
It becomes a large bush,
and the ‘birds of the sky come and dwell in its branches.’”

He spoke to them another parable.
“The kingdom of heaven is like yeast
that a woman took and mixed with three measures of wheat flour
until the whole batch was leavened.”

All these things Jesus spoke to the crowds in parables.
He spoke to them only in parables,
to fulfill what had been said through the prophet:
I will open my mouth in parables,
I will announce what has lain hidden from the foundation
of the world.

Then, dismissing the crowds, he went into the house.
His disciples approached him and said,
“Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.”
He said in reply, “He who sows good seed is the Son of Man,
the field is the world, the good seed the children of the kingdom.
The weeds are the children of the evil one,
and the enemy who sows them is the devil.
The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.
Just as weeds are collected and burned up with fire,
so will it be at the end of the age.
The Son of Man will send his angels,
and they will collect out of his kingdom
all who cause others to sin and all evildoers.
They will throw them into the fiery furnace,
where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.
Then the righteous will shine like the sun
in the kingdom of their Father.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

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What comes to mind when you think of the Kingdom of Heaven? Do images of yeast and mustard seeds come to mind? Jesus speaks in parables so that we can understand our Heavenly Father and his Kingdom. In This Sunday’s Gospel, Jesus reveals the Kingdom of Heaven to us through three interesting parables. He explains that our Father allows good and bad people to live together, like how weeds grow among the wheat. He refrains from uprooting the weeds to avoid harming the wheat, but once it’s time to harvest the wheat, he destroys the weeds. In this life, the good have to live among the bad, but it won’t last forever. We’ll receive our reward and gain eternal life while the evil ones perish. The Kingdom of Heaven is glorious and everything we could hope for it to be, but it can sneak up on us. At first glance, it can be unassuming, like a tiny mustard seed or some yeast. It might come unexpectedly, but once we take a closer look, we realize the treasure that it is. We see the mustard see grow into a magnificent tree and the yeast that allows our bread to rise. Jesus says he will “announce what is hidden from the world.” We might not see or understand the Kingdom of Heaven, but we can look to Jesus to learn about it and to get there.

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An Open Thank-You to FOCUS

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.
Acts 2:42

To all FOCUS missionaries, especially Becca, Emily, Jacob, Thomas, JD, Brian, Courtney, Maddi, Molly, and Peter, who served at SRU, and Shannon, my friend from SRU who said yes to FOCUS.

Moving in with FOCUS
It was the end of my freshman year at Slippery Rock University. I was at a meeting in the Newman Center where next year’s Rock Catholic leaders planned the upcoming fall semester. Our campus minister informed us that in the fall, SRU would get four FOCUS missionaries. We were excited to hear the news, but we didn’t quite know what FOCUS was and what they would do.

Fast forward to August, when the Rock Catholic leaders volunteered on freshman move-in day. We met four young adults in the same “Weekend of Welcome” volunteer shirts as we were wearing. Throughout the day, we got to know each other as we talked, ate lunch, and prayed. Becca, Jacob, Emily, and Thomas were the first FOCUS missionaries at Slippery Rock.

From my sophomore year to graduation, ten missionaries were assigned at SRU. Because we shared the Newman Center with them as our base of operations, I saw them often and I grew close with most of them. They all taught me something and touched my life in some way, and I’m so grateful for all of them.

What is FOCUS?
FOCUS stands for the Fellowship of Catholic University Students. FOCUS missionaries play their part in the Great Commission by going to college campuses to share the Gospel with the students they encounter there. With the “win, build, send” model, they encounter students, invite them to deepen their faith and pursue a personal relationship with God, and equip them to become lifelong disciples. FOCUS missionaries meet students where they are and as they are. They embrace them in authentic friendship and show them who they are and whose they are. They reminds students that they are good and they are loved.

While FOCUS plans tons of events and get-togethers for students, like game nights or just having coffee or tea in their homes, a few cornerstones of their mission are Bible Studies and discipleship. As FOCUS invites students to participate in Bible Studies and forms them through discipleship, they prepare them to grow in their faith independently and even lead. Some students in Bible Studies eventually lead Studies of their own, and disciples eventually become disciple makers. I had the opportunity to lead a Bible Study for a year, and during my last semester, I was my friend Morghan’s formal discipler.

A Holy Sense of Adventure
A valuable lesson that I learned from FOCUS is that becoming holier is not a boring endeavor. The road to Sainthood and a stronger faith is an adventure. It didn’t take long for me to discover that FOCUS missionaries went on mission trips all around the world. During winter, spring, and summer breaks, FOCUS held mission trips in countries in Africa, Asia, Latin and South America, and Europe. When Becca told me about her spring mission trip to Nicaragua, I wanted to go, and through some discernment, I learned that God wanted me there.

Getting to Nicaragua wasn’t easy. The fundraising and preparing was a hassle to say the least, but I forgot all of the stress as soon as we arrived in Nicaragua. With a loving and fun mission team by my side, I spent a week playing with children in Mustard Seed Community compounds. I’ll never forget the smiles on their faces and the sound of their laughter. They still bring me joy as I look at pictures from the trip and reminisce on fond memories. I still keep them in my prayers and ask that God reminds them that they’re his beloved sons and daughters.

That mission trip during my sophomore year wasn’t my only travel opportunity with FOCUS. The conferences that they have every winter gave me new adventures. When I went to SEEK 2019, I got to encounter God in Indianapolis, and during SLS 2020, I learned that I was made for mission in Phoenix. With the lights, the crowds, the Catholic speakers, and the concerts, the energy at FOCUS conferences is contagious. My favorite memories involve the powerful moments that I spent in Adoration. I knelt there, feeling the True Presence of Jesus in front of me, and surrendered my life to him. Wrapped in his love, I knew that living for him was the greatest adventure I could ever take.

The Constant Call
The FOCUS missionaries that I knew for most of my time in college were always calling me and my friends to holiness. Nearly every day they invited us to go deeper in our faith. They led Bible Studies, they went to Mass with us, they met with us for discipleship, they held upper rooms, and they had the craziest events. If I can be honest, It was sometimes overwhelming knowing that something was always happening and they wanted us at everything, but the invitation was always intentional and well-meaning.

From the missionaries, I learned the importance of community and intentional invitations. They helped me understand that while I can improve my faith on my own, I can grow deeper when I find and foster a faith community. I began to see those around me for who they are, beloved sons and daughters of God. Understanding this identity made it easier and more authentic to make intentional invitations. Getting to know someone and desiring the good for their eternal soul became the why behind my invitations to coffee, movie nights, Bible Study, and Mass.

Click here to read 5 Intentional Ways to Create Community!

The constant calls and invitations also taught me that in everything I do, there’s always way to grow deeper. When you decide to live your life for God, he enters every aspect of your life. Consequently, I began recognizing God in every moment of my day and cherishing every moment as a way to grow closer to him. From the missionaries’ excitement when I told them the news, I learned that a great grade on a research paper is something to thank God about. From their patient example, I learned that inconveniences are ways to grow in humility. Because of the constant call to holiness, I consciously grew closer to God each day, which is something that I’ve carried with me out of college and I’ll keep forever.

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Lifelong Discipleship
This blog about FOCUS and its impact on my earthly and eternal life wouldn’t be complete without mentioning my discipler, Courtney. My junior year was her first year as a missionary at SRU, and she approached me and my good friend Allie to invite us into discipleship. Without knowing much about it aside from that it sounded like a good thing, we said yes. For the next two school years, Courtney and I met one on one, sometimes for hours at a time, to talk about life, faith, and what it means to be a missionary disciple.

The path of discipleship isn’t always easy or even pleasant. If you think of Jesus’ disciples, they struggled, suffered, and sometimes failed. As Courtney led me in discipleship, I struggled a lot. It took me a long time to really realize my identity and worth lies in Jesus, not in what the world thinks I should be. It took me a long time to pray every day because I filled my schedule with things that were seemingly more important. It took me a long time to be formed and grow in the virtues that my soul needed.

I often thought of the vine and the branches from John 15. If I wanted to abide in Jesus and bear fruit, I had to be pruned. As the Father worked through Courtney and pruned me, there were times that it hurt. Sometimes I didn’t even want it. As defeated as I was, Courtney kept fighting for my soul, and I didn’t give up. I saw myself first and foremost as a daughter of the Lord, and nothing can sway me. My prayer life went from practically nonexistent to a Holy Hour every day. I grew in charity, chastity, detachment, humility, and more.

Now that I’m at the end of my formal discipleship with Courtney, I can see my growth from the past two years. As I leaned on her and looked to her for guidance, she formed me without making me dependent on her. While Courtney won’t always be right beside me, she’ll always be in my heart and I’ll see her in the Eucharist.

Formed by FOCUS
I probably could have grown in my faith just fine on my own, but FOCUS set the examples that I was looking for and gave me the guidance that I needed. Because of FOCUS, I grew closer to God than I ever thought possible. I learned that I could be holy, and through saying yes to God daily, I believed that holiness and Sainthood are possible for me.

If I had one word to describe myself after FOCUS touched my life, it would be formed. I desired to deepen my faith and live God’s will for my life, and he blessed me with missionaries who worked so beautifully in my life. The formation that I experienced through FOCUS will last me the rest of my life and will keep me on the path to eternal life. FOCUS, thank you for everything you taught me, gave me, and did for me. Because of your witness, I’m not afraid to say yes to God’s plan for my life and to be a lifelong missionary disciple.

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The Lily of the Mohawks: St. Kateri Takewitha’s Journey

The Lily of the Mohawks: St. Kateri Tekawitha's Story

I am not my own; I have given myself to Jesus. He must be my only love.
St. Kateri Tekawitha

I remember learning about St. Kateri Tekawitha in Catholic Elementary school. She was canonized in 2012, so while she was still Bl. Kateri Tekawitha, I learned about her during all-school Masses. Fr. Patti would tell her story during his homilies. I listened as he told us about how she became Catholic and journeyed by herself to find a faith community. St. Kateri’s story stuck with me and inspired me throughout my own journey with Jesus.

Kateri’s Conversion
Kateri was the daughter of a Mohawk chief and an Algonquian woman. Kateri’s mother taught her the faith while she was young. She learned to pray at a young age and would often say the Hail Mary. When she was four years old, she and her family contracted smallpox. While the disease took her parents and siblings, Kateri recovered, but with scars all over her face. Because of this, Kateri was often teased, so she would hide her face with blankets.

After her parents died, Kateri’s uncle became the new cheif and raised her. When she was 19, a Jesuit missionary named Fr. Jacques de Lamberville baptized her. She also took a vow of chastity out of her love for Jesus. While her uncle would try to arrange marriages for her, she turned every one down. Eventually, her uncle gave up trying to marry Kateri off and understood that she desired to dedicate her virginity to Jesus.

Pursuing Holiness
Kateri was very much alienated for her conversion. The other members of the Mohawk tribe harassed her and ridiculed her for her faith. She bravely left her home to seek a faith community. Traveling by herself, Kateri journeyed to Montreal to live with a community of Christian Indigenous Americans.

For the rest of her life, Kateri prayed ceaselessly. She fasted constantly, and when she did eat, she would taint her food to decrease its flavor. She also practiced self-mortifications as she put thorns in her bed, and according to some accounts, she sometimes burned herself. Kateri openly embraced suffering. She detached herself from the world and united her suffering to Jesus. “I will willingly abandon this miserable body to hunger and suffering,” she said, “provided that my soul have its ordinary nourishment.” Kateri became ill and passed away in 1680 when she was only twenty-four.

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Faith Amidst Hardships
St. Kateri Tekawitha is the first Native American to be canonized a Saint, and rightfully so. She’s lovingly called the Lily of the Mohawks for her purity and piety. She inspires us to live our faith fearlessly amidst harassment from others and suffering. As a shining example of devotion to following Christ, she dedicated all of her being to him in the final five years of her life.

St. Kateri was so steadfast that she left her home and everyone she knew for a faith community who would grow closer to Jesus with her. Knowing that she shouldn’t be alone in her walk with the Lord, she surrounded herself with holy people who supported her in her faith journey. When I reflect on this facet of St. Kateri’s life, I’m reminded of my own faith community in college. While I felt like a fish out of water living my faith on campus, I found solace in the Newman Center and all of my friends there. St. Kateri’s fasting and mortifications were a sign of her piety. She consciously and happily chose to take up her cross daily. I pray that we might be as strong in our own faith journey and constantly seek Jesus like St. Kateri. May we stop at nothing to pursue him and forsake comfort for suffering to grow closer to him.

St. Kateri Tekawitha, pray for us.

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This Sunday’s Gospel: July 12, 2020

Matthew 13:1-23

On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea.
Such large crowds gathered around him
that he got into a boat and sat down,
and the whole crowd stood along the shore.
And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying:
“A sower went out to sow.
And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,
and birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.
It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,
and when the sun rose it was scorched,
and it withered for lack of roots.
Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.
But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,
a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

The disciples approached him and said,
“Why do you speak to them in parables?”
He said to them in reply,
“Because knowledge of the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven
has been granted to you, but to them it has not been granted.
To anyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich;
from anyone who has not, even what he has will be taken away.
This is why I speak to them in parables, because
they look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.
Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says:
You shall indeed hear but not understand,
you shall indeed look but never see.
Gross is the heart of this people,
they will hardly hear with their ears,
they have closed their eyes,
lest they see with their eyes
and hear with their ears
and understand with their hearts and be converted,
and I heal them.

“But blessed are your eyes, because they see,
and your ears, because they hear.
Amen, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people
longed to see what you see but did not see it,
and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

“Hear then the parable of the sower.
The seed sown on the path is the one
who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it,
and the evil one comes and steals away
what was sown in his heart.
The seed sown on rocky ground
is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy.
But he has no root and lasts only for a time.
When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word,
he immediately falls away.
The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word,
but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word
and it bears no fruit.
But the seed sown on rich soil
is the one who hears the word and understands it,
who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.”

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The Parable of the Sower and the Seed is one that we’ve heard numerous times. But the question is, do we understand it? Out of all the Parables, this is the one we should understand the most because it’s the only Parable that Jesus himself explained in the Gospels. Those who understand Jesus’ parables and teachings are blessed. He says that if he grants us knowledge, more will be given to us. However, people who don’t understand have a disadvantage. Understanding and knowledge are gifts of the Holy Spirit, and if we have them, then he expects us to use them for the glory of God. Because we know Jesus and understand his teachings, we can and should help those who don’t. While this can look like giving talks and having Bible Studies, we can teach in other ways. We can start by having conversations and asking questions. Once you’ve built a relationship with someone, they’ll trust you and know that you care, which gives you the freedom to reveal Jesus to them. Over time, we’ll see rocky soil become good soil and thorns clipped away in the hearts of our loved ones and disciples. If God is the sower, we can be his laborers and harvest souls for him. Because much has been given to us, he expects us to give much of ourselves to others.

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